I now Pronounce Chuck and Larry is about a fireman named Larry and his desire to provide his children with financial security. Since his occupation requires him to sacrifice his life to save others, he could die at any moment. Furthermore, Larry wants to alter his pension so his kids will receive it. Since the paperwork is time consuming, Larry finds a loophole. This glitch in the system is known as domestic partnership. Unfortunately, there is an high volume of time and paperwork that needs to get done for his children to be the beneficiaries. In order to expedite the process, Larry seeks assistance from his best friend (Chuck). Initially, Chuck says no and shuns Larry. Realizing that Chuck owes Larry because Larry saved his life, Chuck does comply with Larry’s request. Everything goes as planned until a meticulous investigator asks the “couple” about their partnership. To get this investigator off their back, Chuck and Larry hire a lawyer.
The movie is a laugh riot from start to finish. Adam Sandler and Kevin James are 2 brilliant comics that complement each other very well. Some elements of the movie are immensely unrealistic, (like Adam Sandler as a chick magnet) but that is a minor flaw. The always attractive, Jessics Biel plays the lawyer. She does an adequate job in the film. Michael Clark Duncan had a hysterical shower scene that was a little too revealing (no pun intended). In addition, Dan Ackroyd provided some laugh out loud moments as well.
Final Verdict: See it because who doesn't like Adam Sandler and Kevin James.
In honor of the 300 DVD coming out today, here is a review of 300 to coincide with the DVD release. What better movie to review than 300? The epic and stunning film is based on Frank Miller‘s graphic novel. Although it is loosely based on the rivalry between the Persians and the Greeks in 480 BC, it is more based on Frank Miller’s interpretation of their feud. King Leonidas (leader of the Greeks) is as inspiring as any brilliant leader. The motion picture begins by accentuating the long and arduous process that young Spartan boys have to endure. In Sparta, boys were raised essentially at birth to become killing machines. If a Spartan baby boy was perceived to be inferior, then he was literally discarded. As 300 progresses, Xerxes sends a Persian messenger to Sparta and asks for King Leonidas to surrender. That is not the Spartan way; the Spartan way is to “Never retreat, never surrender.” Insulted by the notion that King Leonidas and Sparta will be slaves under Xerxes, the great Spartan leader kicks the Persian messenger into a pit to his ultimate death as he shouts “this is Sparta!” Realizing that these actions would lead to a war, Leonidas seeks permission from the Ephors. Unfortunately, it has come to no avail because he is not granted authorization to fight against the Persian Empire from the perverse Ephors. Even though the Spartans are outnumbered more than 2 to 1, Leonidas believes that Sparta will be victorious. Furthermore, he gathers a group of 300 Spartans and gets ready for the most macabre quest of his life.
The picture is an amazing, jaw-dropping experience that no one should miss. Virtually every scene from start to finish is astronomical. There are a bevy of quotations throughout the duration of the film that will make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. Including one where Leonidas states, “This is where we hold them. This is where we fight. This is where they die!” After that I heard that, I remember turning to my friend in the movie theater and saying “Oh snap.” A favorite scene by many people was when Leonidas exclaims, "Give them nothing, but take from them everything!" If that does not send chills up and down your spine, then I do not know what will. Another one being when a Persian said, “A thousand nations of the Persian empire descend upon you. Our arrows will blot out the sun,” and the Spartan responds by saying “Then we will fight in the shade.” I actually have this quote listed as one of my favorite quotes on my Facebook profile. The only flaw with the movie was the portrayl of Xerxes. In real life, he was a precocious tactician, but in 300 he was viewed as a coward. But that is merely one minor blunder in the movie. If you not doing sit-ups after watching 300, then something is wrong with you. This movie motivated me to do more exercise more than any dreadful Tae bo video. King Leonidas would pummel Billy Banks to the ground. I have no idea how many sit-ups I did after 300 was over because I passes out after the first 2, but the point is that I at least attempted them."
Final Verdict: See 300 and learn how to “dine in hell.”
In Shrek the Third, Shrek and his friends are ready for another chapter in this original tale. The movie is about Fiona’s dad (King Harold), and finding a serviceable replacement to take his place. The King becomes ill and wants Shrek to be the heir to his throne, but Shrek refuses because he enjoys living a humble live in a swamp. As a result, Shrek attempts to track down Arthur because Shrek wants him to be King Harold’s successor. The perverse Prince Charming makes his return and is out to make Shrek suffer.
Shrek 3 has much of same comedy that made the first 2 movies facetious. Shrek, Donkey, and Puss are played by Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, and Antonio Banderas respectively. They all do a stellar job, and the characters really seem to complement each other rather than doing the same thing. Shrek is the enormous yet pious ogre, Donkey is the loud mouth hideous animal, and Puss is the slick but adorable petite kitten. All of the Shrek movies seemed to poke fun at various other Disney movies, and Shrek the Third was no exception. Some of the other characters entail Snow White, Gingerbread Man, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and the always entertaining Pinocchio. A perfect example of this is when Pinocchio is being questioned, and he says so many double negatives that it is arduous to comprehend what the hell he is talking about. Reprising her role as Fiona in Shrek 1 and 2 was Cameron Diaz who is Shrek’s pregnant wife. A major addition to the cast in this movie was Arthur (Justin Timberlake). At times I felt like this movie was all over the place when original characters were introduced, but that is a minor flaw. This is a movie that children and adults will find humorous. It is definitely not on the same level as Shrek 2; however, it is on par with the original Shrek.
Final Verdict: See it because who doesn’t like Mike Myers.
In At World’s End, Will Turner (played by the dreadful actor Orlando Bloom) seeks to save his dad’s death from Davy Jones. Alright, the hell with the frivolous plot. Nobody has any idea what the hell any of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies are about, but that is impertinent. At World’s End is supposedly the last movie in the trilogy of this epic Disney franchise, and there are some hits and misses.
The cons being the aforementioned storyline or lack thereof. Why the hell is there a scene where Calypso and that squid (Davy Jones) are attempting to establish a rapport? I am still confounded by Chow Yun- Fat’s role in this movie. What was the deal with Calypso transforming into a bevy of crabs? That is her uncanny ability; she can turn into a myriad of crabs. I kid you not. I am dead serious. Throughout the duration of the movie, Calypso was perceived to be this unstoppable, untenable, unbelievable “Goddess.” For a “Goddess,” that is an immensely egregious talent. The pros being the always engrossing Johnny Depp as Captain Sparrow, Elizabeth Swan, and the action sequences. The movie is significantly facetious due in part of the brilliance of Mr. Depp. A perfect example of this is when Jack begins hallucinating and stating hilarious lines like “He who fights and runs away, lives to run away again.” I have always interpreted that quote to mean if you are a coward, you will always be a coward. Judging the Pirates movies on storyline is an enormous blunder. I view the Pirate movies as a comedy, and I believed At World’s End was the funniest. Therefore, I am picking it as the best of the 3 movies.
Final Verdict: See it because Captain Jack Sparrow is worth the price of admission.
The movie 1408 is creepy and haunting story about a writer struggling to survive in a hotel room. Mike Enslin (played by John Cusack) enters a hotel room named 1408 in New York, but he soon discovers things are not what they seem. Mr. Enslin is a talented writer who go to the room in order to get ideas for writing his book. The hotel manager, Gerald Olin, adamantly forbids Mike to enter the room. All of Gerald’s warnings fall on deaf ears because Mike believes that the room perfectly adequate. The hotel manager (Samuel L. Jackson) incessantly claims that no one has lasted more than 1 hour in that room, and feverously mentions that 50 people have died there. Olin emphatically accentuates how hazardous the room is, but the skeptical writer still checks in room 1408. When Mike first enters the room he notices subtle things, like the alarm clock and noises. As the movie progresses he begins seeing ghosts; however, he believes the alcohol is making him hallucinate. This is where the plot thickens.
There are some flaws in the storyline, conversely that should not deter you from seeing it. You should have an open mind with these type of movies. John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson do a stellar job in 1408; this is a movie without any gore, violence, or sex. I had goose bumps all over watching this frightening hotel room horror movie.
Final Verdict: See it because it is not a usual horror movie with blood and violence.
Transformers nerds feared that the movie would not live up to expectations because of director Michael Bay; however, they should be pleasantly surprised. The movie is based on genuine robots known as the Autobots and the antagonists known as the Decepticons. There were some convoluted scenes in the movie with ShiaLaBeouf’s character and his glasses being the key that unlocks a “map.” I know; I am just as confounded as you are because I have no idea what the hell the story was about. Needless to say, the plot is in complete disarray. Megan Fox plays the sexy and immensely attractive woman. Her disastrous acting was more robotic than the actual transformers. No, I don’t know and don’t care who the hell she played in the movie; moreover, I will just refer to her as the designated hot girl. When you look like that, you don’t need name.
Transformers attempted to talk about something called Sector 7 (secret branch of the government). Why is there so much incongruous content in this movie regarding Sector 7? The computer generated images are brilliant, and the movie had its fair share of comedic elements. Some of the action sequences were more disappointing that the series finale of the Sopranos because of the velocity. Countless things were transpiring simultaneously, to the point where it was arduous to decipher who was fighting who. These consisted of bullets flying through the air and gratuitous explosions. It may sound amazing, but I would like to know who or what is doing the shooting. At one point, it looked like Optimus Prime and Megatron were groping each other. The actions scenes looked as if they were all intentionally sped up.
Final Verdict: If you are a Transformers fan, then definitely watch it. Otherwise, you can bypass these Robots in Disguise.
Let’s begin with the biggest movie of the year: Spider-Man 3. Spider-Man 3 transpires immediately after Spider-Man 2. It was divulged to Harry in Spider-Man 2 that his good friend Peter Parker is Spider-Man, and Harry takes steps to assassinate Spider-Man since Harry believes Spider-Man (Peter) killed his father. At the start of the movie, the love relationship between Peter Parker and Mary Jane is genuine and honest; however, Peter realizes that his alter-ego Spider-Man is an iconic figure and hero to many people. Mary is floundering as her occupation as an actress after receiving egregious evaluations from critics. As the movie progresses she has an arduous time connecting with Peter due to all the Spider-Man notoriety getting to his head. This is tremendously exacerbated by the black slime that attaches to Peter Parker. Falling from the sky at an amazing velocity is the black slime, which acts as a double-edged sword when it comes in contact with anyone. The slime enhances all of Spider-Man’s physical attributes, but it also diminishes all of Peter’s inhibitions. While all this is occurring, fugitive Flint Marko attempts to uncover a remedy for his child’s sickness. As Flint tries to flee from the authorities, he finds himself trapped in a science experiment. This experiment converts him into Sandman. I have to admit I enjoyed watching the perverse Spider-Man (Peter Parker) much more than the playful Spider-Man (Peter Parker). For starters, it accentuated some of the most facetious scenes in the movie. One of which was when Peter was dancing in a cantina in front of Mary Jane and making asinine gestures at random women as he was walking the streets of New York. Afterwards, Peter ascertains from the police that Flint murdered Peter’s uncle. This makes Peter furious, and he goes on a rampage to avenge his Uncle Ben’s death. Peter recognizes that the black slime consumes him, so he tries to discard it. This is where Eddie Brock comes into play. Eddie is Peter’s nemesis at the Daily Bugle and who ultimately becomes Venom. Spider-Man 3 turns into an ongoing battle between Spider-Man, Sandman, Venom, and Harry.
Spider-Man 3 does have its share of flaws: Sandman, Gwen Stacy, and Topher Grace’s portrayal of Venom. I have absolutely no idea why the hell Sandman and Gwen are in this movie because they are incongruous. James Franco does a decent job of playing Harry. Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst do an adequate job of reprising their roles as Spider-Man and Mary Jane respectively. Peter’s aunt is in the movie played by that woman who is irrelevant, and the always entertaining J. Jonah Jameson is the egotistical journalist at the Daily Bugle. You do not have to be a Spider-Man fan to appreciate the memorable cameo by Bruce Campbell. Spider-Man 3 is much better than the disappointing ending in Spider-Man 2 because no villains commit suicide in this movie. A 300 million dollar budget, and Sony coming up with a dreadful ending like that in Spider-Man 2 was embarrassing. Do not fret because Spider-Man 3 does not disappoint for the most part. It is the best of the 3 Spider-Man movies in view of the fact that the action sequences, comedic performances, and computer generated images are brilliant.
Final verdict: See it because is is funny as hell and the computer generated images worth the price of admission.
